Vending machines user fee.
Reporters must rent PCs.
$10 charge for performance evals.
Staff meetings now cost $25.
Reporters must provide own chairs.
Two reporters for each desk.
Reporters must provide own desk.
No more lights, candles only.
Reporters must bring own candles.
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11 comments:
My gut's aching from laughing.
What? No charge to use the company restrooms?
Toilet paper 5 cents per square.
What about the $8 per hour for short term parking?
Don't tell Melanie Sill that you can use a candle for light too.
Due to IT layoffs, Geek Squad will handle all PC lockups - at reporters expense. No exceptions.
Psst! More insider cost-cutting memo leaks:
You clogs the toilet, you pays the plumber.
Hot water available for a nominal fee to help feed the homeless.
Costly security IDs will be replaced by nightclub hand-stamping.
Security to be provided by American Legion volunteers.
No more costly bakery cakes for goodbye parties. BYO cupcakes from home. Sharing encouraged.
LMAO over and over!!!
Did someone say restrooms ? The Sac Bee got in trouble with OSHA a few years ago for not letting a Customer Service Rep use the bathroom. (Back when they still had a Customer Service Dept.) A directive came down from Management making sure that no one interfered with anybody's use of the restrooms.
Restrooms have to be a problem. The tiny dicked metrosexual libs must have trouble reaching the urinal.
Heard it from up high that Gary read these great cost-cutting ideas and plans on implementing several in fiscal 2010. He's out buying candles at Costco.
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